beauty of the storm

As a continuation of my last post, I realized something. This was always about just my relationship with God, not something that "could've been". How rich God is in mercy, that He would actually listen to my prayer and deliver so powerfully. As the week went on, I really did see how I am dead to my past sin. Grace was no longer an excuse, but a reason to live in the Light- to live like Christ.

On Wednesday, I met with a friend for ice cream, which I figured would help me get over what happened. What I didn't know was that it was never even necessary to get over it. It was only required of me that I see the depth and width and height of God's love, which I saw in the beauty of the sky that night and the wonderful community of friends that we accidentally stumbled upon there. It was in the "hey, wanna do something stupid?" and not really doing anything stupid at all but walk down the street laughing and taking a picture of an ordinary street sign to send to someone. It was in the excitement that we had to go back to school and band and the nervousness and the talk about prayer for our futures and about how stupid going to class is and how we're both going to try to be more involved in LCM. It was in the safety of the drive home. It was on the radio with a Matt Maher song to which I tried to sing along but sounded horrible because I had never even heard the song before. It was such a powerful testament to being alive because of Christ that I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Last night was when I saw all of this. The beauty and love that came out of everything that had happened, under the disguise of misfortune. I realized how much I've changed in the past week, and that there's no way on earth that I could have gone through this by myself or simply by my own choosing.

There was a huge storm last night. I went outside and finally took the lyrics of the Carrie Underwood song I had been singing all week to heart. It felt like I was being baptized again, but instead of having the formalities and the delicate nature of baptism or confirmation within a church, this was raw. It was just God and me. The cold rain came pouring down when the unseasonably dark skies opened up, washing me clean and assuring me in the power and promises that God always keeps, and I, in turn, was committing my whole self to His Will as passionately as the storm thundered. I knew then just how much God loved me, because He would put me through the pain so I could see an infinitely greater joy.



I have never felt so loved.




              I have never felt so alive.




"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17


Peace of Christ,

Allison


9. Because He Lives - Matt Maher

"Amen, amen...
I'm alive, I'm alive because He lives..."