college.

Time for post-holiday depression to settle in.

I'm supposed to be applying for scholarships and whatnot, but I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe. Anyway, I am officially done with applying to college as of Sunday. Woo. I started in what, August? So. Many. Essays. Scholarship essays aren't that much better. On the bright side, I've been admitted to the Honors College at the University of Alabama (full ride too! Roll, tide, roll!), the Honors College at the University of South Carolina, and North Carolina State University. As of right now, I'd probably end up at State. I'm really hoping to receive a big packet with light blue print on it (it's not like it could be a really, really, really long rejection letter, right?), and it should come this month. Really hoping. The anticipation makes it seem like every day is two years.

I'm just really glad that I'm going to college somewhere. It is truly a dream come true. A likely dream, yes. I always knew that I was going to go SOMEWHERE for an education. But now, that dream is taking shape. I cannot wait to see the marvelous outcome. :)

Love,

              Allison

5. E Ti Promettero- Josh Groban

It's been a while...

So I doubt anyone reads my posts anymore (or if anyone read them to begin with), but I rediscovered my blog and am surprised by what I wrote. It's as if I'm discovering this all again. I get so caught up with everything in the school year and simply forget. I become unaware of myself. It's pathetic.

 Just writing to give y'all an update- senior year is crazy. I don't know what people were saying with how "junior year is so much more stressful than senior year." Uhm, no. Same workload plus college applications. asdfghjkl;.  So far, I've applied to UNC and NC State. At least that's over! Two down, three to go...

I really would like to start posting again. Even though nobody is going to read this, it's fun to organize my thoughts and see where it leads me. Maybe once I get all my service hours turned in, finish a couple applications, do some reading logs for AP Bio...

In the meantime, stay classy!

xoxo
               Allison

4. Reaching by Audiomachine

summer!

   Okay... enough with the deep stuff. I guess I'll tell you a little about me.
   I'm 16 years old, and I think I'm in love with music. It has always been a part of my life! I've been playing the flute for 5 years, one year in marching band, and I'm learning how to play clarinet and guitar. Suggestions? :) As for music I listen to, well, I have an interesting variety. I can listen to Christian, Alternative, New Age, and Screamo all in the same day. I need a little variety.
   I've been dancing for 10 years. It's my creative outlet- it's what keeps me sane. I love modern, contemporary, and jazz, but I'm not sure how much dancing I'll be able to do since joining NHS. I was also planning on applying to be a junior volunteer at a hospital, so that gives me less time for dancing. I'll still be a competition member, though.
   In academics, I'm strongest in math and foreign language. I'll be taking AP Calculus AB and French III & IV next year. My passion, though, is reading. Yes, I'm too scared to take AP English. Again with the bravery! It would help a lot with my writing and analysis skills, but I don't think I would do too well. I'm still trying to delve deeper into thought, and you must be very mentally mature to succeed. 
   I'm still not sure what to do with myself in life. What colleges to apply to, what I should major in, who I should be... I guess it'll come soon. I like to hold off on making decisions until the last second, because I don't like thinking about it and worrying. Definitely not the best idea, but it usually works out. I've always wanted to be a teacher, but I'll have to build my patience.

~

  Summer has been pretty boring. I've been going to the gym and occasionally hanging out with friends. In fact, I saw my math teacher this morning in weights class! This week, though, my family is taking me to Bermuda, which should be interesting. I'm really excited for Glass Beach. After that, I'll be dancing all day to prepare for my second to last national competition. Savannah, Georgia, here we come! Not time to be sentimental quite yet.

  I just returned from the mountains, and I'm happy to say that I took joy in exploring on my own. A dog kept following me, but he was friendly, so I didn't think much of it. It's just the little things that make me happy. I went on a trail that I had never been on before, and I continued even after the trail thinned out. I can't wait to adventure even further next time and add a little colour to my day. I hope I end up somewhere.

Love,

             Allison

3. Belong- Cary Brothers

bravery

   Bravery. A synonym of courage. What does it mean? I've been familiar with the term for quite a while, but I never thought to make it part of my story. After pondering the subject, I realized that it has nothing to do with making really stupid decisions. Breaking the law isn't brave- it's stupid. Then again, one could be standing up for their unalienable rights. So, I can't come to a conclusion.
   I've never been able to do something 'brave' when I think about possible consequences. Today I climbed a tree, and it was only when I was 20 feet in the air when I looked down. I couldn't continue to climb after that. Stupid decision? Probably. Last week, I told a guy I liked him. Stupid decision? Not as of now. Only time will tell. Last year, I officially accepted Jesus Christ. Stupid decision? Absolutely not. It's the reason I haven't been holding back as much lately. I'm gaining some odd sense of blind trust that I've never felt before. Will I jump off of a bridge and trust that I'll just stop in midair? I don't think it's supposed to be quite that literal. Will I walk into a room, full of people I don't know, and trust that I'll make friends? Getting there. I know I'll have to talk to people in order to do so. I can't stay in a shell, in a comfort zone, for the entirety of my life. Then again, I can't stare at the sun out of curiosity. There must be some sort of happy medium that will get me somewhere.
   Isn't it funny how irony appears everywhere? Call me crazy, but if you look for it, you'll start to see it. The most obvious occurrence that I've noticed this year is the similarity of one of my routines to this new feeling. It is a modern dance choreographed by Brooke Wendle, and she described the story behind the series of movements before we started. Inspired by her trip to Africa, Wendle explained that we were supposed to be disabled in the beginning. No movement, no smiles, nothing. We were just in contorted positions without the slightest hint of hope. Then, something amazing happened. We started moving. The initial reaction is a little uneasy, yet curiosity surely overpowers this. As we start getting more comfortable with this new development, we stop stumbling as much and are overcome with an inexplicable joy and passion. What a blessing it is to move! I'm starting to feel it.
  I must have not been able to "move" before, stuck the box I put myself in. It's amazing what a little faith and trust will do. I was afraid to give anything a chance, but now I'm never looking back to where I used to be. Sure, there were no risks to be had and no possibilities of hurting myself, but that will get someone nowhere. It builds character! I think it's time I step out and show people who I really am. I have a yearning feeling that's bigger than me, and I have to say yes to life in order to satisfy it.  After all, what fun is it to live a mundane life? It's called living for a reason, and you only get one chance. Life was given out of generosity, so don't waste it. It's time to be brave.
  
Love,
                Allison

2. Away from the Sun- 3 Doors Down (see the Vitamin String Quartet version too. It's the song we dance to.)

i'm new here

   Hello everyone... wow, what an awkward intro. I'm not really sure why I wanted to start a blog, because  I'll probably forget that I have one in the first place. I guess it's because I like writing, but I'm too much of a chicken to take AP English. Oh well.
   This will be a place in which I record my "adventures", because, yes, I am a dreamer in our modern society- hence the title. It's a little upsetting that conformity has taken over, as I feel myself getting caught in some sort of current. Daily Routine? Get up. Go to school. Marching band and dance practice. Homework. Stress. Maybe get some sleep. There's some variation occasionally, but I usually know exactly what I would be doing at any certain moment. Summer? Oh. Sleep for 12 hours, get up, ride my bike, watch tv, repeat. I can only imagine what life as an adult will be like for me. Where's the motivation to just... do something different? How could I possibly use my imagination in any part of that? There's something more to life. I know, it's cliche to write a blog about the 'meaning of life'. But, you know what? It's not going to be about that. The reason people have failed over and over in their futile searches have but one point they have overlooked: we're all different. If we were all the same, how in the world would we be where we are now? Granted, it's not a great position, but it's better than living in caves. I couldn't imagine Rosa Parks and Jeff Dunham as being the same. Humans create history together, good and bad, and it becomes a giant domino effect. I could only imagine what life would be like if nothing happened in 1776. If Hitler had never been born. If we were smart enough to create and maintain a Utopian society. Is it possible, or is it one of those things that is mocking us every day? Just wondering.
   I know this was short, but I needed to get past the first post. It's always the toughest with writer's block. If you continue reading, be warned that my mind is an interesting  place to visit.      
   I'm hoping to have a little adventure, whether it be past the woods or building relationships, and write about it here along with what I learn. You don't gain wisdom from reading books. I'm not setting out to find my place. All in all, I'm going to figure out why God put me here, and what He meant for me to do. That, my friend, will be the greatest adventure of all.


Love,
 
            Allison


P.S. Mary Alex, if you're reading this, I'm stealing your idea of giving recommendations. Mine will be music, though!


1.Human - Natalie Grant