e major 9th suspended 4th

Today, I skipped volunteering. I just kinda took a day for myself. I didn't do much, just walked the dog and read a little in John, and got my hair "trimmed" (she took like three inches off).

After all that, we went to get takeout at one of the Chinese joints in Indian Trail, which isn't the norm for our family. While we were waiting, KLove was playing ever so softly in the background. "Shoulders" came on, and reminded that there isn't anything that I can't get through with Christ.

I'm not really one for the fortunes they put in those cookies they haphazardly throw in your bag, but the one I got today said "Your love light shines on another". I think it was something that God has been trying to say to me for a while. My mind keeps going back to that boy that literally should not matter anymore. I quite literally asked for this in my life. Literally. I just kind of thought that He would answer my prayer for a heartbreak in the sense that I would suddenly just feel really upset and heartbroken for no reason. And that I would yearn for His face as a result of nothing. No. God answered in an amazing way. It showed me how bad my emotional boundary-setting problem was. It showed me that my priorities were way out of order. It was a test of faith, and still is. I choose to believe that this is a sign of God's graciousness, as I am free to run to Him now. No one said cutting the chains wouldn't hurt. I'm a stronger person because of this. I believe that my love light really does shine on another, meaning the certain best friend that I will discover when I least expect it. I taped the fortune in my journal on the very last page, across from another one that read, "the greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances."

I fiddled with my guitar for a while, and strummed a sort of melancholy progression. It went Em, C, Am, E9sus4, Em. Sad progressions and songs in general kind of remind me of what happened (I know I should be over it, but I've been around close to zero other people and it leads to my dwelling on it). I played around a little more, and found a quite brighter progression. It goes E, E7, A, E9sus4, E. Notice how the same weird chord is in that one. I'm going to let that chord stand for the hurt, because it made the next part sound even brighter.

I just have to be patient.

16. To Those Who Wait - Bethany Dillon